Jorts? Yes or No?

Dear John,

I have been following CFFB religiously and following all your advice on what it will take for me to get to the next level.  From your earlier posts regarding programming, nutrition, sleep, etc., it’s clear that I need to be prepared in all phases of my life, both in the gym and outside it.  I’ve come across a single piece of equipment that seems to be incredibly versatile in its ability to help enhance athleticism and public image.  It also seems really popular with NFL players, but I haven’t seen it come up on your blog.  It’s jorts.  Never having worn jorts myself, I was hoping you could lend your perspective on whether jorts could help me as much as they’ve helped these other athletes.

First: how do you recommend power athletes wear their jorts?  Should I go old school and hem?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#1

Or, should I keep up with the advancements in jort technology and let them all the way out?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#2

Second: for strength training, will jorts help me increase my CFFB Total?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#3

Or just develop my legs and core?

JORTS? YES OR NO? #4

Third: Do you recommend using a fanny pack when lifting with jorts, or is that just overkill?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#5

Those are more performance related questions, but I have some personal development questions about jorts too.

How does the general public view athletes that wear jorts?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#6

I’m curious about public reaction, because I’d like to know whether wearing jorts can help me land related sponsorship deals too?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#7

The upside to wearing jorts seems limitless, but are there also downsides or risks I should be aware of?

For instance, can wearing jorts when you’re too young negatively impact your growth?  Or, should I get my kids in them right away?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#8

Finally, is wearing jorts a privilege?

JORTS? YES OR NO?#9

Or a right?

Thanks in advance for your help on this.

Stahl

 

JORTS? YES OR NO?#9Stahl,

I had the same reaction to your question, as I did when I saw Katy Perry was going to be on Sesame Street. Wow.

There is power in the jorts. I am sure there if we were to poll all CF Footballers, there would be more than a few jorts in the drawers.

I say rock them; let fashion be damned.

John

Posted in Talk to Me Johnnie, WTF? | Tagged , , , | 20 Comments

20 Responses to Jorts? Yes or No?

  1. Jorts are the official warm weather training uniform for Danger WOD

  2. Aja

    I absolutely agree with you john, there is much to be said about jort power. No man has ever done wrong in a pair of jean shorts. I recommend wearing them and wearing them with pride. More power to the man that wraps his thighs in white washed denim. More power to him indeed!

  3. scott andrews

    If your not wearing JORTS your not trying.

    Scott

  4. Nick

    No jorts dude. Sorry. Probably why my squat isn’t as big as it should be.

  5. Sounds like there needs to be a Jort Off-Zoolander style!

  6. Scott pauly

    That’s some funny shit….By the way Katy Perry, way hotter on the episode of the “Simpsons”
    Did you catch it by any chance?

  7. Let’s not fuck about and get down to business…. Yes, Jorts are a must. The next level is the fanny pack. If you want to have trinity of strength, mass, and awesomeness, you have to go full on mullet. If you wanna be ELITE, you go Brian “THE BOZ” Bosworth and cut some serious hieroglyphics just above your sideburns praising Hercules himself.

  8. freddy c._one world

    WTF Johnnie?!? You’ve been holding out on the Jorts info. My Games training starts on Monday. This will be the edge I need to win. Gonna grab a pair of Chyna’s jorts and go squat right now.

  9. nate

    Once again the gods RAM …. in $$$

  10. D-Wes

    What about the Earl Campbells, Jamal Andersons, and Jerome Bettises of the world…the jean shorts will present a little differently…(or other bottom heavy types)

  11. Dingo

    I completed Wod 11.6 in Jorts and a cutoff jean vest this past Saturday. For a pic checkout the Windy City Crossfit site and look on May 1. I agree with John, Jorts are amazing.

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  16. Robbie

    I have my jorts! I worked at a bar and they kept changing the damn uniform every week on patio. They finalized it with denim shorts(the term for those in jort denial). I showed up in my daisy dukes, squat strong legs for all the world to see. I was promptly sent home after delivering drinks to a table and picking up a coaster off the ground.

    Jort Power.

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  18. Wrecked

    The holy trinity (jorts, fanny pack, mullet… bonus points for mustache, others) ONLY WORKS if you’re already the fucking man. Beta male with jorts is still cannon fodder, alpha with jorts is elevated to the omega.. the ender of worlds.

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